Plastic-free Warrior Gifts

Other Bags We Should Ban: Old, Sleaze, Dirt, Scum, Flea.

The dumpster code - find something, leave something.

"Matthew, did we agree to adopt a whale?"

'Sorry sir,but we can't just take your word that the boots leak'

Tell me about it--last night I ate a whole sleeve of Communion wafers.

'The worst thing is not having access to your e-mail.'

"And that, gentlemen, is the Friday 4.55 pm Bad News Email Dump."

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

"I hit reply all too many times."

'I delete so much junk mail, my trash can icon turned into a dumpster.'

'There's a gentleman here who's concerned because you haven't responded to not one of his 12 million email spams.'

'That stuff kills 98% of household germs, but leaves the remaining 2% limping around enough to maintain your resistance.'

No one drinks from fountains anymore. Thanks to bottled water, they've been replaced. By bottled water fountains.

"Well that email could have been a meeting."

Ed Revere, Spam Courier

"...and you've got private use of it, so long as you don't exceed 10,000 mile per annum.'

Organic farm

"Sea animals are long since extinct but he ocean is still dangerous for swimmers!"

"Unfortunately, our user-friendly toaster is warranty-unfriendly!"

"I only wish emails could deliver papercuts."

"OK, let's see. For starters, the guarantee only covers the muffler."

Genius Bar

'Let me guess. Your boss sent you a nasty e-mail, and you're composing your reply.'

The whale and the plastic bottle.

"She's in her happy place again."

'No, now I'm just fighting inbox inequality."

Amateur Spam.

"Our planet no longer wants to receive email from yours."

"This the nastiest email that I ever read. I want to use it as our new template."

"Look at it this way -- in three years your roof could leak."

And this computer comes with a three year warranty, but of course it'll be obsolete in 6 months.

Your appliance maintenance agreement just expired. I'm here for your appliance...'

'The good news is that I managed to install the wind turbine...'

'Grandpa stop! That's not a jellyfish! It's a plastic bag!'

Shuffle Zone. Please shuffle and create static electricity to power our city.