Plastic Bag Fee Analyst Gifts

"Thank you Madam. That will be £5000 plus 5p for the bag, of course..."

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

Excess Baggage: Before starting your rental car, be sure the radio is turned all the way down.

"Mom, no raking for me this fall! Got any more leaf bags?"

"Before we take you up to the ship, we need to examine the contents of your bag."

Polar bear on a mountain of plastic

"Any bag that can hold all my things becomes too heavy to carry."

'I told you to keep the rice in a plastic bag.'

"Which free tote goes best?"

Sometimes they need the oxygen mask after they see the new baggage fees.

"Your DNA test came back – you're 49% from the Amazon, 49% from the Caribbean, and 2% from some plastics plant in Texas."

Bag Lady.

"This banana I bought yesterday, when I peeled it it was empty!"

"Your bill includes a 10% surcharge that goes towards raising awareness of the rampant overcharging in the legal fraternity."

"One good thing about a low budget district, the school year is shorter."

"You know why men die earlier than women? Because they can."

'She looks good because it's not natural. It's all plastic.'

Commuter X-Ray

"It's the best bag I've ever had, I can get everything in it."

Adventure

"Do you have room in your bag for this?"

Ocean Plastic

She had a thing about Tote bags.

J. Beebleman Pres. He's too cheap to have a real corporate retreat.

Bubblewrap Supplies: Just Popped Out

"Well. . . I guess there will be no offspring, but at least I will save on the tuition fees."

GOP Pied Piper.

'You want a plastic bag, for one tin of peas? Why don't you use your hands to carry it home? After all, they are reusable and friendlier to the environment.'

'Okay, I'll stop calling your shoulder bag a man-purse. But I refuse to call those high heels 'Studlettos'.'

"I'm going to have to put a luggage restriction on your manbag."

'All your luggage is lost, but apparently you still have plenty of baggage.'

Hand bags and more

'So what'll it be, papery plastic or plasticy paper?'

AnneMarie was convinced that her car had mysteriously shrunk while she was shopping.

"Do you have anything that's not a black hole?"