Plasma Lover Pillows

Plasma Ball

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

Movies vs. Films

'Mona Lisa, would it make you happy if I gave you a foot massage every night?'

'No, I'm sorry, Danny. I'm afraid your dad won't be able to shoot laser beams from his eyes after surgery.'

Non Thought For The Day.

"This just in — I no longer have a job."

'The country is awfully deep, but the falling is delightfully soft and safe'

Sports Radio in Crisis

Larry King

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

'We do not do belly rubs, if that's what you are looking for.'

It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. For the next two hours, I'll be taking your calls. I'll tell you how to fix your hopeless relationship or cope with all the people at work who really are better than you. Then I'll berate you for not manning up and dealing with it on your own instead of bugging me about it! Los Angeles, CA, you're on. What's your problem? Click.

"Shoulder work ahead"

Ian Dury

"That's his answer to everything!"

Flo discovered that one of the perks of cancer was that even reluctant friends were willing to give her foot massages,

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

'But boss, this will keep my muscles from getting fatiqued.'

Welcome to "The Ask Sadie Show," pre-Halloween edition. First caller is Zombie Eaton, from Schenectady. What's your problem?! Munch

Chair massages.

'I get 23 stations and a place to hang my coat!'

'That's Karl with a 'K' -- My parents named me after a radio station.'

'Charity sends her thanks!'

"I think I've found your transistor radio."

"I don't know...but somehow you've changed, Harold!"

"I suppose in your day, you would have called these, 'radio dinners'."

'Sorry, no roles for you yet, Madam Caterpillar,'

Bored kid fighting off an alien attack.

Stranded Techie Needs Batteries

Surgical equipment burning a hole through the table.

Even the busiest leaders must know when to switch off and recharge their batteries...

'Yes, we're having another fund raiser but, please don't give! Who cares if honest intelligent radio goes silent forever?'

"We interrupt ocean sounds for the following pledge drive..."