Magnet Lover Pillows

'This is one of the most powerful marketing tools known to man!'

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

A fairy with wand and crown in pink tutu

"Houston - you will Not believe this!"

"Hey Pete, why do you think they call it a 'Supermoon?'"

Cow jumping over the moonshine.

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

"I don't know what else we can do. He won't look up from the screen!"

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

"I'm the bad guy..."

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

"Harry Potter and the People Who Care Way Too Much About Harry Potter"

Primitive magician

Aaannd … Peekaboo!

"This makes Pamplona seem like child's play."

"Yeah, it's me. I'm gonna be late for dinner."

Doctor Frankenstein creates a new monster that makes the mob even more blood thirsty. Colour

"Since global warming the Abominable Snowman is much less frightening than he used to be."

Olly really didn't know his arse from his elbow.

"Did you remove the bay leaf?"

"Its been on the market for over two years. The estate agent reckons it's something to do with negative edibility!"

Lots of shiny glass objects! Darling, you're spoiling me!

"The new OS update should fix the bug that makes you want to murder everyone."

'Mona Lisa, would it make you happy if I gave you a foot massage every night?'

Cut out and keep your own Fairy Godmother.

'A vampire bat! No kidding!'

Movie Monster Exhibit: Unavailable due to much needed repair work.

"You'll build another bug collection in no time."

Sometimes it's easy to see if a swamp creature is on vacation.

It's a busy mother's day down there! The glucose molecule got his mom a box of sweets, the histamine brought flowers ... A sodium atom got bath salts, and the genes had a family portrait taken. Frank, the neuron didn't get a gift for his mother. No, he didn't but he always sends a nice message!

Frankenstein's Ancestry

"Which one's yours?"

Neil Armstrong readies for the moon landing.