Plant Empath Gifts

"My asparagus on my allotment has exactly the same thing."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

Licensed Therapist

"Ed's tree hugging was out of control."

The Golfing Accident

'I'm not a happy bunny.'

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

Lumberjack and tree share a smile.

Bear fumbling whilst fishing.

The Last Days of a Hydrangea

"I didn't know it was poison ivy. It didn't have any warning labels."

The New A*****e

'It's a clear case of dehydration.'

'The thing that really bugs me, Louis, is whether veterinarians are psychiatrists.'

Dog next to sign that says, 'Beware of Dog's Feelings'.

Mouse to occupant about trap: 'How could you?'

"Why so sad, Pal?"

"Ugh, tell me about it! They pressure you to be a good boy and I get unreal expectations of prettiness!"

"Hey. What are you doing to that card?"

"Oh no, Daisy's committing herbicide!"

"Is this one a flower or a weed? I'm not sure whether to admire it or not."

"I see growth."

"Son, we must never drink from the forbidden plant."

'Then it's agreed. You give sun, water and carbon dioxide and in return, you get oxygen.'

'You don't have anything in a smaller size do you?'

'Honest! It was the only tree I could find!'

'I'll have to reschedule your appointment -- the doctor had an attack of squeamishness.'

"This dog definitely had abandonment issues..."

'Mr. Hartley, the motivational speaker is here to talk to your plants.'

Audrey M. Fishberg - Certified Financial Grief Counselor.

How to be your own best friend...

"Sometimes, when I'm upset with her, I'll have a 'quote; accident 'unquote'."

The Chinese of Paris - 'Beer!... Never... only absinthe makes a man fit again!'

'Quick Bob someone's coming! Look sad and chatter your teeth and they will take us somewhere warm!'

'Showing up early just makes matters worse. Now I feel more alone than ever.'