Plant Empath Gifts

"My asparagus on my allotment has exactly the same thing."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

Licensed Therapist

"Ed's tree hugging was out of control."

The Golfing Accident

'I'm not a happy bunny.'

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

Bear fumbling whilst fishing.

Lumberjack and tree share a smile.

The Last Days of a Hydrangea

The New A*****e

"I didn't know it was poison ivy. It didn't have any warning labels."

'The thing that really bugs me, Louis, is whether veterinarians are psychiatrists.'

'It's a clear case of dehydration.'

Dog next to sign that says, 'Beware of Dog's Feelings'.

"Why so sad, Pal?"

Mouse to occupant about trap: 'How could you?'

"Ugh, tell me about it! They pressure you to be a good boy and I get unreal expectations of prettiness!"

"Hey. What are you doing to that card?"

"Oh no, Daisy's committing herbicide!"

"Is this one a flower or a weed? I'm not sure whether to admire it or not."

"Son, we must never drink from the forbidden plant."

Hi, this is click-whistle-chirp. Hi. … wait, who? Did you know humans are not the only sentient species on earth? Almost every species is sentient, contrary to thousands of years of racist propaganda. They think, they feel pain, they act with intent, they feel emotions ... especially the octopods. Never get on an octopus's bad side. House of Java Cybercafe. They've just never felt the needs to speak human languages before. Before? Before what? ... Wait ... am I talking to a dolphin? The sentient

"I see growth."

'Then it's agreed. You give sun, water and carbon dioxide and in return, you get oxygen.'

'You don't have anything in a smaller size do you?'

'Honest! It was the only tree I could find!'

Audrey M. Fishberg - Certified Financial Grief Counselor.

'I'll have to reschedule your appointment -- the doctor had an attack of squeamishness.'

'Mr. Hartley, the motivational speaker is here to talk to your plants.'

"This dog definitely had abandonment issues..."

How to be your own best friend...

"Sometimes, when I'm upset with her, I'll have a 'quote; accident 'unquote'."

'Quick Bob someone's coming! Look sad and chatter your teeth and they will take us somewhere warm!'

"My dog doesn't understand me."