Urban Empath Gifts

Please Help

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

No Immediate Danger

"Follow that dream!" (man boarding taxi)

"I can hear Brooklyn becoming played out."

"Yes!" "Excellent!" The Daily Bug City considers pesticides ban

Holiday cottage

"Chop wood, carry water, walk dog."

"Time like these make me wish we had sprung for that apartment with a park view."

The Earth studying our cities with much interest

"I'm thinking of leaving these crowded condos and going to a place that's been deserted for years...the mall."

Populating URBAN DICTIONARY.

'This is Martins, the office I was telling you about. She's got a real knack for texting people down from window ledges!'

From Here You Can See Bugger All

Urban cops protecting a flower growing in the city.

"On a clear night when the stars are twinkling over the city, I almost don’t mind that civilization collapsed."

"It just seems to me, Howard, that you're missing the whole point of having a terrace in the city."

"Hmm...any dietary restrictions?"

"When satire becomes indistinguishable from reality, there's a problem."

"Nothing is ever in my size either."

The New A*****e

'New in town, hey? Let me show you a great condo tower.'

Preserve these Wetlands.

Spinner luggage is fast becoming the city walker's, walking companion of choice. There's no stopping, no mess, nor butt sniffing, with the added bonus that it comes with you when you go on holidays. . ."

"Physically I'm in New York, Emotionally. . .I'm somewhere in the south of Florida."

Your logic is flaccid and your data suppositional, dawg!

Building in the countryside

Amongst the rush.

"So this is the lovely view of trees..."

"Of course, you try to raise your kids so they won't need lawyers."

"The first step towards solving New York's City's problems is to STATE them, which I will now proceed to do."

"Ever seen anything like it? No high rise condos to obstruct the view, no acres of parking lots, no traffic. What a waste."

Immigrating to the City

'I warned you we'd get thrown out, changing the name from the Garden of Eden.'

"Occupant, apartment 5C: Congratulations—you may already have won the all-electric Colonial split-level house of your dreams...."