Plant-based Philosopher Pillows

"I suppose if I'm really honest with myself I'm not totally fine with being slaughtered."

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

View to the Future

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

"To paraphrase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure without pain au chocolat."

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

'If I order pasta and she orders antipasta, did we really order anything?'

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

'Young lady, I'm afraid existential despair is no excuse for not eating your lima beans.'

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

'She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me...'

The Politics of Food.

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

"First you make a roux."

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"

'School of nutrition - as of today: Butter, good...'

The Last Days of a Hydrangea

"I can't have anything that's a food."

The Cactus Reader

'Ah, Garbanzo, truly you are a noble bean.'

"Of course working from home is different. . ."

Man watering with the 'Theory of Natural selection'.

A Complex Carb.

"Enlightenment can only come when you realize there is more to life than gluten free hot sauce."