Plant-based Gastronomy Guru T-Shirts

Bounty Burger

Counting ribs

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

"Is the MSG local?"

The Jolly Green Giant Squid

"Two vegans, please."

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

"They always throw us stale bread, so I've decided to bake my own, fresh break..."

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

'This is the fun part...waiting to find out just what we've ordered.

"What if Newton came up with a different idea from a fallen apple."

"That was a great ideaof yours, chester."

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

Newark by Night. A new Dutch restaurant just opened. What do you know about Dutch cuisine? Nothing. But I'm a big fan of the "Dutch Treat" concept.

Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

"How's the salmon?"

60 minute wait for a table, 15 minute wait for a server, 40 minutes for teh appetizers...

"I'm unable to process this image."

Happy hour.

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

"Who ordered the moose en croute?"

Vegetarian Nightmare.

In-House Entertainment Consists Of Man Riding Pizza Cutter Cutting Giant Pizza While Making a Pizza

'Maybe we shouldn't show how sausage and foie gras are made on the same day.'

"I want to set the world record for eating the most empanadas ever!"

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

"Fresh pepper?"