Planny Pantser Gifts

"O.K.! See you Monday at eight, seven central."

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

'He's been hiding out here for 20 years. Apparently, his buddies forgot to tell him the paintball tournament was over.'

"I like when we get organ transplants from New York because they always throw in a dozen bagels."

"Try letting the ball come to you."

Snails on road - road works 'slow' sign.

'I suppose the word 'patient' is used because that's what you have to be!'

Investments: Remember, Time Heals All Stocks.

Portfolio, 2014 - For a richer enjoyment, allow to age.

'I'm ready! You ready?...You ready?'

Standings: Milky Way Conference

Atlas working out with the earth as his exercise ball.

'You wouldn't believe how hard it is for me to unwind after work.'

'Your novel has an up-to-the-moment breaking news quality. We intend to publish it in 2012.'

"I am staying ‘present,’ and presently she’s annoying me!"

"Your call is important to us. Your estimated wait time is less than five hours."

"I think my Harry must be practicing some sort of Tantric fishing. He'll be at it for hours and not catch a thing."

'He's Barack Obama? I thought you said 'he brought a bomb on!''

A-Hem! I'm still singing here!

Women

"Sorry, I can't - I have to be everywhere."

Road work next 15 years.

'This is wonderful. It will help millions of people.'

A knowledge of where the fish are likely to be located can save hours of frustration.

They just found two more dark moons around Uranus. Are you winding up to some sort of sophomoric joke? No, they really do think they found two new moons there. Kind of suspicious, if you ask me. As long as I can remember, Uranus had 27 moons, and the Solar System had 9 planets, including Pluto. Now those numbers change all the time. Next thing you know, they'll be telling us we have to Uranuses. Yeah ... pretty sure you're winding up to some sort of sophomoric joke.

"We already changed our phone service to something or other last week, so we don't need whatever it is you have."

'I like to spend my train journeys reading fiction.' (He looks at Rail Timetable. Sign says 'Delays expected'.)

'Well doctor, is it serious?'

Due to higher-than-usual caller volume, your wait-time is nine minutes. That's over an hour in wolverine minutes.

Sure, Jupiter's the biggest, but I hear he uses Asteroids to build up his bulk!

"Two minutes, 40 seconds. Next ... Two minutes, 53 seconds. Next ..."

"I see many gifts. They say do not open till Christmas."

Seven males, ranging in age from a baby to an old man, wait in a line monitored by a uniformed guard.

How the planets of the solar system are known to their friends

'Pretend you don't notice San Andreas.'