Patience Practicers Gifts

"It's not a self-improvement book. It's a how-to-tolerate-those-who-won't-improve-themselves book."

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

A tortoise running along the side of the road, panting.

Armed forces waiting with nothing to do.

'He's been hiding out here for 20 years. Apparently, his buddies forgot to tell him the paintball tournament was over.'

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'

"Try letting the ball come to you."

Snails on road - road works 'slow' sign.

"Lord, business is slow and I'm getting frustrated. If I change my name to 'Job' would that give me more PATIENTS?"

'I suppose the word 'patient' is used because that's what you have to be!'

Portfolio, 2014 - For a richer enjoyment, allow to age.

Investments: Remember, Time Heals All Stocks.

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

'I'm ready! You ready?...You ready?'

How to Do Small Talk??!!

"Not guilty, Your Honor, and thank you for asking."

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

Snail crossing

"I think my Harry must be practicing some sort of Tantric fishing. He'll be at it for hours and not catch a thing."

'Your novel has an up-to-the-moment breaking news quality. We intend to publish it in 2012.'

'You wouldn't believe how hard it is for me to unwind after work.'

"Your call is important to us. Your estimated wait time is less than five hours."

"I am staying ‘present,’ and presently she’s annoying me!"

Women

Road work next 15 years.

A knowledge of where the fish are likely to be located can save hours of frustration.

'This is wonderful. It will help millions of people.'

"We already changed our phone service to something or other last week, so we don't need whatever it is you have."

'I like to spend my train journeys reading fiction.' (He looks at Rail Timetable. Sign says 'Delays expected'.)

'Have a little patience, Sir - We're not machines...'

"I see many gifts. They say do not open till Christmas."

Seven males, ranging in age from a baby to an old man, wait in a line monitored by a uniformed guard.

'You've made fine progress since morning. You'll be first in line tomorrow.'