Patiance Practicer Gifts

"Nothing ever happens before midnight."

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

Armed forces waiting with nothing to do.

"But this time, Lucky, when I throw the ball... you bring it back!"

'He's been hiding out here for 20 years. Apparently, his buddies forgot to tell him the paintball tournament was over.'

Giving Things Up For Lent.

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'

"Lord, business is slow and I'm getting frustrated. If I change my name to 'Job' would that give me more PATIENTS?"

Snails on road - road works 'slow' sign.

"Try letting the ball come to you."

'I suppose the word 'patient' is used because that's what you have to be!'

Investments: Remember, Time Heals All Stocks.

How to Do Small Talk??!!

'I'm ready! You ready?...You ready?'

"Take a pill in the morning, in the afternoon and at night."

Portfolio, 2014 - For a richer enjoyment, allow to age.

"Not guilty, Your Honor, and thank you for asking."

Please Wait and wait and wait.

Women

"Your call is important to us. Your estimated wait time is less than five hours."

'You wouldn't believe how hard it is for me to unwind after work.'

"I think my Harry must be practicing some sort of Tantric fishing. He'll be at it for hours and not catch a thing."

'Your novel has an up-to-the-moment breaking news quality. We intend to publish it in 2012.'

"I am staying ‘present,’ and presently she’s annoying me!"

Road work next 15 years.

A knowledge of where the fish are likely to be located can save hours of frustration.

'This is wonderful. It will help millions of people.'

"We already changed our phone service to something or other last week, so we don't need whatever it is you have."

'I like to spend my train journeys reading fiction.' (He looks at Rail Timetable. Sign says 'Delays expected'.)

"I see many gifts. They say do not open till Christmas."

Seven males, ranging in age from a baby to an old man, wait in a line monitored by a uniformed guard.

'I don't need your love. I need a 401 (k) and health insurance.'

'You've made fine progress since morning. You'll be first in line tomorrow.'

"Be patient with Ed. You can skip his political harangue in 15 seconds and move right onto sports."