Planning For A Child Gifts

"Perhaps we should start reading books about having a child."

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

'It's okay. We'll just push our retirement plan back a bit.'

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

"We balanced our budget this month!"

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"

New arrival

The Tunnel Of Love

"Can you hurry up with the cake? I have to travel the world, have a career and start a family"

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

"Please, James...will you stop worrying whether the baby will meet all government regulations!"

'If we respect each other, contraception makes sense!'

Excess Baggage: Sooner or later all those vacation bills come due.

"We've intended to ask you about it for some time, Doctor, but never got around to it."

"We're hoping that someday Rosalie will be a major player in the creative economy."

'You're due in September, however, since you're not mentally ready, let's make it October!'

"Keep my fingers crossed! Is that it?"

Preventive medicine.

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

Frog Baby Names

'Let me get this clear. You want me to give you paternity leave before the baby is born.'

"Have you considered trying for a puppy?"

'I can't say what the market's going to do, but you're going to have fourteen children.'

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

"You need to stop pressing the snooze button on your biological clock."

'OK...now what?'

Baby reading 'To do list'.

Lesbians for Christ

Family planning - 'I was thinking something low maintenance.'

Pregnancy Test

'I'm pregnant, the dog and cat arepregnant,even the gold fish is pregnant - it beats me how you ever became a family planning counsellor...'

Fertility clinic open day - Man holding balloons shaped like sperm.