Planning For Child's Education Gifts

"Daddy made six hours of your tuition today."

A Puppet Named Juan

'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'

'It's okay. We'll just push our retirement plan back a bit.'

'The reason the core curriculum seems so ambiguous is that we dot really have a core curriculum.'

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

"I thought your show-and-tell was really brave."

"Can you hurry up with the cake? I have to travel the world, have a career and start a family"

"Where am I going to college? I thought this was college."

'I wish his guidance counselor spent more time on college plans and less time suggesting names for his band.'

"Kind words help the dairy cow produce good milk. They go in one ear and out the udder."

"Keep my fingers crossed! Is that it?"

Baby reading 'To do list'.

"Stop applying! You've been accepted to three universities!"

Frog Baby Names

'...and help my parents to pick the right mutual funds in my portfolio for my education...'

Private School Interview - 'How much do your parents weigh?'

Pregnancy Test

"My mom got it on. She said you'd get it off."

Family planning - 'I was thinking something low maintenance.'

"While your lesson plans were perfect, and your bulletin boards were terrific...your classroom management skills need work!"

'Mom, am I store-bought or homemade?'

"So, the inevitable sequel."

"I try to get a head start on them."

'You must be the new hire. Welcome aboard. Here's our prepackaged curriculum. If time permits, encourage critical thinking.'

'Your student Clara has tested as Talented and Gifted. But only in metal sculpting. You'll need to start incorporating metal sculpting into your daily lesson plans starting...tomorrow.'

I would like to start a regualr investment program that will help pay my daughter's college textbooks

Kid to mom: 'How come I ask so many questions?'

'You might not know it now but I used to have some great lesson plans.'

"Peter and I spent the summer re-wilding the children."

"Baldo! Pick him up!"

"Eventually I'd like to settle down and start a few dozen families."

'This is probably the only time I'll be chauffeur driven and I can't even look out the window!'

"Gracie, don't worry. I created a college fund for you the day after you were born. I figure by the time you're 18, it'll total $28,000."