Planning A Will Pillows

"He intends to die with dignity, he desires a modest funeral, and he's determined to prevent the buzzards from getting any part of the estate."

Do you want to be buried or cremated? - I'm not sure... - Well, would you rather risk being buried alive or burned alive? - Okay, okay. Cremated. - That wasn't so difficult, was it?

Cat and dog at a will reading.

'He's refusing to die as a protest against Inheritance Tax.'

Graph Your Relatives!

"Look at their faces! What did they expect? They never visited her! Of course the will says her money goes to the cat shelter. . ."

'It states in his will that if he becomes brain dead he wants to go unplugged.'

Estate Sale! All the stuff my kids said they don't want to inherit.

"Here's what you wanted – a strategy to live abundantly, build capital, surpass your peers and disappoint your heirs."

'I'd like to leave my pacemaker to the medical institute, my artificial lung to the research center, my false teeth to the dental clinic, my dacron arteries...'

'As I recall you were the one who told him that he couldn't take it with him.'

'Why do I get the impression that my 401(k) isn't performing well.'

'Don't worry about making your will, Miss Moneybags leave everything to me. . .'

Contest of wills.

'Dad, did you say 'someday all this will be theirs'?' 'No, me say, 'The IRS's'.'

'... and finally, to my business partner I leave my corporate parking space.'

"Apparently the will was typed up wrong and UCLA got all your husband's money...and you get his brain!"

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

'So far you have enough to smell a rose or two, but not enough to come to a complete stop and smell the roses.'

Pets in Attorney's office - 'The iguana gets everything.'

"Some fine day, my son, all this will be yours."

'Someday, son, 50 of this will belong to your ex-wife,'

"This is what happens when a family business doesn't have a succession plan!"

"These are all my financial papers - with the exception of the codes to my secret Swiss bank accounts, of course."

'Fortune telling/retirement planning'

"I love my George. He has a will of his own, and it's made out in my favour."

"This oughtta be good...my lawyer is about to read my Will. I left everything to my cat Binky!"

"Someday, son, all this will be yours..."

"In normal circumstances a full state pension would be an automatic..."

'Son, someday you're going to be short all of this.'

"Just so you know, I'm taking all this with me into the afterlife."

"He was just a year away from retirement."

"For my will I decided to cut out the middle man and bequeath all my money to the IRS."

"When you reach your expiration date, would you like to be crushed or recycled?"

"I, Arthur, being of sound mind, have spent it all on wine, women and song."