Planning A Will Pillows

"He intends to die with dignity, he desires a modest funeral, and he's determined to prevent the buzzards from getting any part of the estate."

Do you want to be buried or cremated? - I'm not sure... - Well, would you rather risk being buried alive or burned alive? - Okay, okay. Cremated. - That wasn't so difficult, was it?

Cat and dog at a will reading.

'He's refusing to die as a protest against Inheritance Tax.'

Graph Your Relatives!

"Look at their faces! What did they expect? They never visited her! Of course the will says her money goes to the cat shelter. . ."

'It states in his will that if he becomes brain dead he wants to go unplugged.'

Estate Sale! All the stuff my kids said they don't want to inherit.

"Here's what you wanted – a strategy to live abundantly, build capital, surpass your peers and disappoint your heirs."

'As I recall you were the one who told him that he couldn't take it with him.'

'Why do I get the impression that my 401(k) isn't performing well.'

'I'd like to leave my pacemaker to the medical institute, my artificial lung to the research center, my false teeth to the dental clinic, my dacron arteries...'

'Don't worry about making your will, Miss Moneybags leave everything to me. . .'

Contest of wills.

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

'... and finally, to my business partner I leave my corporate parking space.'

'So far you have enough to smell a rose or two, but not enough to come to a complete stop and smell the roses.'

Pets in Attorney's office - 'The iguana gets everything.'

"Some fine day, my son, all this will be yours."

'Someday, son, 50 of this will belong to your ex-wife,'

"This is what happens when a family business doesn't have a succession plan!"

'Fortune telling/retirement planning'

"This oughtta be good...my lawyer is about to read my Will. I left everything to my cat Binky!"

"Someday, son, all this will be yours..."

"I love my George. He has a will of his own, and it's made out in my favour."

'Son, someday you're going to be short all of this.'

"In normal circumstances a full state pension would be an automatic..."

"Just so you know, I'm taking all this with me into the afterlife."

"He was just a year away from retirement."

"When you reach your expiration date, would you like to be crushed or recycled?"

"For my will I decided to cut out the middle man and bequeath all my money to the IRS."

"I, Arthur, being of sound mind, have spent it all on wine, women and song."

'So much for the will! Now, before you start celebrating, I suggest you think about inheritance taxes, because, according to my calculations, you will be left with. . ."

'Someday, son, this will all be yours...to give to the IRS, thanks to the back taxes I owe.'