Writing A Will Pillows

'For those with particularly ungrateful children,the inheritance tax can be a comfort.'

Next, I remember looking down at my body, and my kids fighting over the will.

'I think we should both write our wills, just in case anything happens.'

"I didn't want to be a burden to my family, but I've changed my mind."

'And finally, I would like to be buried with an elephant bone...Just to confuse future archaeologists.'

'He kept changing his will. In the end, it all went to legal fees.'

"The only bit of advice that really resonated with me was . . . remember your kids in your will as they decide what sort of nursing home you end up in."

"Leave me alone. I'm deciding who to leave out of my will."

"I, Arthur, being of sound mind, have spent it all on wine, women and song."

"For my will I decided to cut out the middle man and bequeath all my money to the IRS."

"And finally I leave everything to my lawyer."

"Apparently, he was a firm believer in reincarnation... He's left everything to himself."

"Don't think for a minute that I've mellowed!"

'... and finally, to my business partner I leave my corporate parking space.'

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

"I want my ashes scattered over Bergdorf's."

"I stopped believing in free will when I had my lawyer write mine."

"What would you like done with your DNA?"

Somehow it seems appropriate. He left everything to his pet goldfish.

"I don't want to leave anyone or anything a goddamn cent!"

"....and to the local cats home I leave one hundred thousand pounds ... and to my wife..I leave the toilet seat up."

'I'd like to leave my pacemaker to the medical institute, my artificial lung to the research center, my false teeth to the dental clinic, my dacron arteries...'

''In order!' You've met my relatives! I want it left in disorder!'

'I guess you'd call it a queer request. He wants his ashes put in a fruit jar and hidden in the closet.'

'I want my will to be a dead giveaway.'

'It reads; 'Being of sound mind, I stashed the lot where those greedy, good for nothing freeloaders will ever find it'.'

"I notice in your will that you've left everything to yourself."

The last will and testement...

"If it's any consolation, I had you as my beneficiary."

"I love my George. He has a will of his own, and it's made out in my favour."

"There's just time for you to sign your paperwork..."

'I hereby leave all my debts and overdrafts to the IRS. . .'

"This oughtta be good...my lawyer is about to read my Will. I left everything to my cat Binky!"

"Why do you need to know if I've made a will?"

"How long is it going to take for my computer to install all those updates?"