Planetary Pun Master Gifts

Sky dive: Wrong kind of wind.

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

I will study my speling words...

You too?! I go around feeling half asleep all the time also!

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

"Bed Spread"

"Petting zoo" "Heavy petting zoo"

"Just for the heck of it, how do you plead?"

Water is discovered on the moon....

STRIP God' s dog urinating on planet Earth

"Relax, Ferguson, I'll have it with you by end of play."

'Do you know how fast you were going?'

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

"Your top 10 list of reasons why you didn't do your homework is creative, but not acceptable."

Golfer wears 'How's my driving?' t-shirt.

'Your Grounded!'

"Dogs are men."

"What can I say? I was an English major."

Standings: Milky Way Conference

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

"Don't forget the nucleus has mass."

'His vocabulary is growing by leaps and soap bubbles.'

'I wonder why my master never makes it into the Master's Tournament?'

Apex Dictionaries Co - sign reads: Clowsed,bak at too.

Biology Laboratory: No Cellfies

"Hey, Sisyphus, when you've got a minute I'd like to discuss this progress report with you."

Atlas working out with the earth as his exercise ball.

The Weather Channel. We're looking for someone who can talk up a storm.

"I was going to tell you a joke about my snack, but I thought it might be a bit too cheesy...."

Barbed Pen

Uranus always gets a bad rap. Tap tap tap tap tap. What do you mean, dorkboy? I mean, no matter how mature people think they are, they always, always want to chuckle when they say "Uranus." Come on, Sadie. You know you want to smirk, even if it's in secret. What if I told you Uranus is slightly bigger than Neptune? Not chuckling! Uranus is always the butt of the joke.

Doric, Ionic and Platonic.

If you think that's good, you should see the Pork Sabre!