Planet Punsters T-Shirts

'To be perfectly honest, I don't understand the International Date Line myself.'

"If you're tired of stegosaur, go kill something else."

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

Ideas Ahead of their Time

Tree house.

STRIP God' s dog urinating on planet Earth

Water is discovered on the moon....

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

"After searching for the sun all night, it finally dawned on me..."

'It's a treasure map.'

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

Standings: Milky Way Conference

'Tony can't come out to play now, he's on his orthodontopole!'

Atlas working out with the earth as his exercise ball.

'Its a dogwood tree. I can tell by its bark.'

"Excuse me, do you have a moment to talk about that?"

Hamlet.

'Your North Pole is wobbling - you should see a spin doctor.'

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

Large Hadron Colliider-scope

Tiny man plays big cello, huge man plays tiny violin.

'Remember this test, Ms. Hart? Nineteen ninety. Multiple choice. You asked which of these is not a planet, and I checked Pluto...'

The Dark Side of the Moon.

How the planets of the solar system are known to their friends

"The planet appears to be inhabitable but more like low-income inhabitable."

"Photons have mass, but their rest mass is zero."

'Pretend you don't notice San Andreas.'

'Not too serious just a couple of particles collided.'

"I wish she's take us. She shops at the 99 scent store!"