Planet Punsters T-Shirts

'To be perfectly honest, I don't understand the International Date Line myself.'

"If you're tired of stegosaur, go kill something else."

You too?! I go around feeling half asleep all the time also!

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

Tree house.

Ideas Ahead of their Time

Water is discovered on the moon....

STRIP God' s dog urinating on planet Earth

Another Turning Point in History. Oh, the heck with it -- I'll never get these antlers right. Mickey Moose.

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

"After searching for the sun all night, it finally dawned on me..."

'It's a treasure map.'

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

Standings: Milky Way Conference

'Tony can't come out to play now, he's on his orthodontopole!'

Atlas working out with the earth as his exercise ball.

'Its a dogwood tree. I can tell by its bark.'

Uranus always gets a bad rap. Tap tap tap tap tap. What do you mean, dorkboy? I mean, no matter how mature people think they are, they always, always want to chuckle when they say "Uranus." Come on, Sadie. You know you want to smirk, even if it's in secret. What if I told you Uranus is slightly bigger than Neptune? Not chuckling! Uranus is always the butt of the joke.

"Excuse me, do you have a moment to talk about that?"

'Your North Pole is wobbling - you should see a spin doctor.'

Sure, Jupiter's the biggest, but I hear he uses Asteroids to build up his bulk!

They just found two more dark moons around Uranus. Are you winding up to some sort of sophomoric joke? No, they really do think they found two new moons there. Kind of suspicious, if you ask me. As long as I can remember, Uranus had 27 moons, and the Solar System had 9 planets, including Pluto. Now those numbers change all the time. Next thing you know, they'll be telling us we have to Uranuses. Yeah ... pretty sure you're winding up to some sort of sophomoric joke.

Hamlet.

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

Large Hadron Colliider-scope

Tiny man plays big cello, huge man plays tiny violin.

"The planet appears to be inhabitable but more like low-income inhabitable."

'Remember this test, Ms. Hart? Nineteen ninety. Multiple choice. You asked which of these is not a planet, and I checked Pluto...'

I have a higher escape velocity than you! It has nothing to do with being clingy!

'Not too serious just a couple of particles collided.'

He's very defensive about his personal space.

The Dark Side of the Moon.

'Pretend you don't notice San Andreas.'

How the planets of the solar system are known to their friends

"Photons have mass, but their rest mass is zero."