Interplanetary Punster T-Shirts

"Johnson, we'd better get the gun! I think there might be some really big rabbits living here!"

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

"If you're tired of stegosaur, go kill something else."

Intelligent people laugh too!

You too?! I go around feeling half asleep all the time also!

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

"Bad dog! I've told you to always proofread."

"Are your eel rolls electric?"

Assault 'n' Vinegar

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

'Poor Kleinzweck -- his working hypothesis got laid off.'

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

Ideas Ahead of their Time

'I've been a nervous rex all day.'

'It's the report from the consultant. He says we should turn over the turnovers to improve turnover.'

"Not to brag or anything, but I'm the elephant in the room at my company."

'Did you watch the horror movie?'

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man! Malaprop Man, I hear you're fighting climate change now. Yes starting with solo panels, I'm reducing greenhouse guesses! I'm investing in buttery technology. I'm going to have windmeals. And of course, I've stopped drinking cola. Why is that? I'll have a smaller carbonated footprint!

"All we have left is standing room only."

Sweep the board.

Adam names the animals (He puts sticky notes on them saying Shaz, Dave, Trish etc).

STRIP God' s dog urinating on planet Earth

Water is discovered on the moon....

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

Dogs life

'Iguana know what time it is.'

"No chips, but I did snag the new Hiaasen."

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

'It's worse than we thought: You've got termites.'

"Moby Richard by Herman Melville" "Wonderful! Not sure about the title—let's discuss editor."

"So is this war movie rated R, rated PG, or rated RPG?"

'He bought a donkey because he thought he might get a kick out of it.'

'Hi, this is Batman. You've reached the Batcave. I'm not in right now but as soon as I return I'll call you bat.'

Reptile Class: 'My homework ate my dog.'