Particle Punster T-Shirts

Subatomic particle super-collider humor. You'll never guess who I ran into yesterday!

'Not too serious just a couple of particles collided.'

Atom smasher.

'Well it's one way of popularising our work at CERN!'

"Photons have mass, but their rest mass is zero."

You too?! I go around feeling half asleep all the time also!

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

Tree house.

Water is discovered on the moon....

'Iguana know what time it is.'

STRIP God' s dog urinating on planet Earth

Dogs life

When Love In The Laboratory Turns Sour.

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

Dog Walker

Pet Cemetery.

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

"We're standing in forever chemicals."

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

"Only 150 kids? - Have you considered fertility treatment?"

'Tony can't come out to play now, he's on his orthodontopole!'

Standings: Milky Way Conference

Beauty and the Baste

"In mitigation, Sunny Chemicals would like to point out that prior to contracting his skin allergy, Mr Crumb was already ugly."

Atlas working out with the earth as his exercise ball.

"I do lover a good prawn film!"

Gas station

"Actually, There's a lot less pressure since I've gone from his best friend to his therapy dog."

Uranus always gets a bad rap. Tap tap tap tap tap. What do you mean, dorkboy? I mean, no matter how mature people think they are, they always, always want to chuckle when they say "Uranus." Come on, Sadie. You know you want to smirk, even if it's in secret. What if I told you Uranus is slightly bigger than Neptune? Not chuckling! Uranus is always the butt of the joke.

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

'Its a dogwood tree. I can tell by its bark.'

Unknown historical typos: Isaac Newton presser, 1687

"I call it decking - it will be all the rage in a few years."

Molecules You Ought To Be Aware of:

They just found two more dark moons around Uranus. Are you winding up to some sort of sophomoric joke? No, they really do think they found two new moons there. Kind of suspicious, if you ask me. As long as I can remember, Uranus had 27 moons, and the Solar System had 9 planets, including Pluto. Now those numbers change all the time. Next thing you know, they'll be telling us we have to Uranuses. Yeah ... pretty sure you're winding up to some sort of sophomoric joke.