Planet Paparazzo Gifts

Space Selfie

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

Ernie Studios. Hi, Ernie. What movies are you working on? We have a script about astronauts marooned on a planet filed with talking gorillas who are in hard economic times. I think I'll call it "The Apes of Wrath"! We're casting "Reignman." The central character is a savant monarch. And we're filming a movie about a suburban town populated by women with strange, long hair ... It's called "The Stepford Weaves."

She left lots of photos out so the cat wouldn't miss her while she was away...

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

The EP-21 spy plane.

'I can't sleep for thinking about global warming.'

"Okay, you have my attention."

"And remember, people, it's better to light a scandal than to curse the darkness!"

Dad Planet: 'Hey you KIDS! I thought i said no ORBITING in the house!'

The Pooperrazzi

"It's not for you, it's for the paparazzi."

'I love looking at the stars. I think of us as celestial paparazzi.'

"I forgot to get a selfie during the procedure. Can we do it again?"

"Okay...so I could have been wrong about a few facts..."

Welcome to celebrity hell.

Efforts Results In Seeing Stars

"Sure, if this was New York, I'd be your editor and you'd be the author - but this is L.A., so I'm your agent and you're the whatever."

"This is just between you and me and the lamppost." "I'll sell it to the tabloids."

Media press pack outside stable where Jesus is born

"Why am I the BUTT of every joke?"

'Your North Pole is wobbling - you should see a spin doctor.'

Stepped in Dog Poo.

'Do you mind if I take a few pictures, Bill? I'd like to publish a case report on this one?"

Photographers Then and Now.

Bear in a space suit meeting an alien.

"Okay, the first rule of rolling in s***e club is no one talks about rolling in s***e club."

Press Pass

"Winning so many awards is great. The only downside is the puparazzi."

'This camera is so fast that you don't even have to press the shutter release.'

"Apparently, in this kingdom, there's no room for a 'royal watcher'."

Man sun bathing from Earth to the Sun

"But you just had to elude the paparazzi."

"Get all the information you can, we'll think of a use for it later."

'Bloody paparazzi' - 'I know, it's at least 40 minutes since I rang them!'