Planet Aficionado T-Shirts

'He's a nice guy, but those tectonic plates of his really weird me out.'

'Your North Pole is wobbling - you should see a spin doctor.'

"Why am I the BUTT of every joke?"

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

Alien embryo growing in earth.

'I'm going to Venus. He's going to Mars.'

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

Never.....teach your dog to fly.

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

'Kids, today, Xerf brought in a planet that he found. Now if we look at it closely under the microscope, you can still see it's inhabitants scrambling around.'

Slinky Cow World

On Aug. 3, 1992, the Moon rose over the horizon wearing heavy eye-liner and mohawk. Fortunately it was just a phase.

"Wow! You do have a triple A membership!"

'Look! There's a Zyzzkzkk!'

"God, I HATE this planet..!"

Space shuttle helping to unlock the secrets of the universe.

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

'Say, are you in the mood for a Spielberg?'

'But you're an admiral. How can you feel seasick on a waterbed?'

'This it is, Ferguson! Finally, we found the legendary, mysterious snowmen crematory!'

"These kids and their shellfies..."

"So what do you do for a living?"

"I've been at loose ends lately."

Scuba diver in a fishmongers

"The health of Mr. Putin is very good!"

"Saturn. No contest. A deadly, treacherous gas giant ringed by a gossamer halo of ice. It symbolizes both death and life. Both evil and good. It symbolizes existence itself."

Newton's cradle

'You can't help but wonder what this will do to the market.'

'I wasn't drowning, I was waving!'

'I'm NOT sweating -- those are OCEANS!'

Common Dolphin

"Are there sharks in the water?"

God Plays Baseball with the Earth

'My acne is worst on the dark side.'