Plaid Affectionado Pillows

A hunter missing his target

They don't feed the animals in here very well, do they!

'All cats have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a cat.'

"Uh-oh - climate change."

That every day look.

'Well, migration is just a change of scenery really, as all our friends and family come too...'

King Madras

"Dear Diary: Today I picked a peck of pickled peppers."

'So he eats the odd secretary now and then. He's our top actuary and I intend to make him a partner.'

Alderman shocked at a proposal to pull down Temple Bar

"On the other hand, his bedside manner is impeccable."

Eating raw cake mix.

The balance of power shifted when sparky figured out how to use the laser pointer.

'Made your point.'

Do you look like your pet ?

'My cat is very unpredictable. I never know when he's going to ignore me.'

'Uh oh, looks like he had a tough day at the office: Let's jump around to cheer him up...'

"I've just been gazumped!"

Plaids set man apart from the lower animals

"I can't remember half of the fun I had - and I probably forgot the other half - but I know that it was with you."

It's so nice to meet someone with a porpoise in life.

'According to this book, goldfish have a 3 second memory...'

'The time to really worry is when credit's not even crunchy!'

Dogs With Balloons Tied to Ears

"I love the splatter effect you got with the green. What brush did you use?"

'How about this one? †'Everybody has to wear plaid socks on Tuesdays.''

"Puppy love."

A bear points out the hunter who shot him in the bum in a police line-up

'I admire your endurance Frank, but the answer is still no.'

Best guess, nuclear war or the French football camp!

'I was going for gold, but I'm afraid all I could manage was bronze!'

Cow looks confused at his toilet Christmas present.

No, Ernie, a promise to not prosecute any cattle would not provide the type of herd immunity they're talking about.

"We go to Stockholm, we accept our, prize, and then I never want to see your ugly mug again!"

Lost Property: "How can I help?"