Pizza Humorist Pillows

"My theory is that alcohol and gluten, if taken together, will reduce fat and build muscle."

"War is hell and so is this soup."

Lesser known greek gods,

'All those in favor of having anchovies on our pizza will signify by saying aye.'

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

'I think I'll go home and eat'

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

'I think it's more than a coincidence that I discover fire, and my wife discovers burnt food on the same day.'

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

Garlic Free Zone.

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

Cat eats date.

"Bottled, tap or toilet water?"

'Look, I know it's artificial orange, but you're sick, I say, sick.'

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

'Well you said you wanted sushi for lunch.'

Cupcake jumps out of cake.