Pirate Punster Gifts

'It's a treasure map.'

'Landline go!'

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

STRIP God' s dog urinating on planet Earth

Water is discovered on the moon....

'Iguana know what time it is.'

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

Dog Walker

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

'Don't you think they'd be better off in the water?'

"Only 150 kids? - Have you considered fertility treatment?"

Standings: Milky Way Conference

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

Atlas working out with the earth as his exercise ball.

"I do lover a good prawn film!"

"Actually, There's a lot less pressure since I've gone from his best friend to his therapy dog."

"You are hereby sentenced to one year of swimming with the people."

'I'll have a Martini, Jack. Extra dry.'

'Your North Pole is wobbling - you should see a spin doctor.'

'Ah look, what a lovely tortoise shell cat.'

'Well, I just met the girl of my dreams -- you know, the kind you have when you eat anchovy pizza right before bed.'

'Pretend you don't notice San Andreas.'

'That's Princess... formerly 'Prince'.'

'Remember this test, Ms. Hart? Nineteen ninety. Multiple choice. You asked which of these is not a planet, and I checked Pluto...'

The Dark Side of the Moon.

"The planet appears to be inhabitable but more like low-income inhabitable."

How the planets of the solar system are known to their friends