Piranha Admirer Pillows

'Sorry, they don't eat homework.'

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

"Most women find me too cutthroat."

Meowlzebub

The Brazilian Blow dry

"Happy Birthday - I saw this and thought of you."

"Sorry. I'm out of leprecondoms."

'Shakespeare's Hamlet word for word - and I who always thought it was a crazy joke.'

Fear of Flying Seminar

'You've got a lot to learn about being a good team player!'

Eye of Newt (evidently the favored hamburger condiment for witches)

Dancing in Love

'What - this is no parrot? Are you sure? The pet shop salesman is such an idiot! He should really look for a new job, eh?'

'Now, that's ironic: We've just received a request for donations from the WWF...'

I'm your biggest fan.

Arr...Italian it be.

'Not bad for a computer, but the chimpanzee's work had more feeling.'

"I'm here researching a role. I'm about to play a Senator."

"Give a call when you get there."

"Have you had any sharp, needle-like stabbing pains all over your body lately?"

Two psychics have shops next to each other; one advertises "Second Opinions".

"I guess this makes up for all those months you didn't speak to me."

'Yeah, I agree: It's hard to impress females by looking virile and strong when you're all pink...'

Bad Rhymes

Sorcery weapon

"You know the rule. You catch it you unhook it."

'Now, be careful with this delivery Nick: As you know, Pandas are an endangered species...'

'I don't want to go up after Yang's dad.'

'Ok, who ordered the bamboo margarita?'

Scrooge and the Ghost

"I'd like you to imagine my client as a family man and not a radioactive, enormous, city-stomping, mutated lizard."

"You doing ok, Panda?"

Don't laugh it's paid for (bumper sticker)