Pioneer Of Home Aesthetics T-Shirts

'We'd like to see it in turquoise.'

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

"I don't know the Latin, but the common name is climbing onion."

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

"I love what you've done with him."

"Hey, take me home with you! Position me at a slight angle next to the elegant glass soap dispenser in the guest bathroom. It'll look great, you'll see!"

Caveman applying wallpaper cave paintings

"I like it. Just trying to imagine how it would look in my yoga studio."

'Welcome home, dear. While you were away I redecorated...'

Wallpaper Bouguet

'Since we did the make-over I just don't think you fit in any more.'

'Of course when minimalism died I got rid of everything.'

A great paper if you have a house full of kids...

"After the kids moved out I had the house redesigned to reflect the real me."

"This place is perfect. It must have been built for us."

'She's constantly rearranging the furniture.'

Fifth Position

The Saunders' Feng Shui consultant reaches the garden shed.

"Here's a letter from a housewife in the southern tier of the kingdom. She writes: 'Sire, would it or would it not be appropriate to use a sand-finish latex paint on a wall on which there remains some painted-over wallpaper? Respectfully, Mrs. R. Jones.'"

"Would you like me to show you around my apartment and tell you how much I paid for everything?"

'And THIS is our top seller! It's a couch that looks like potatoes for couch potatoes!'

'As you know, Lord, Larry just loved his little cubicle.'

"I did what you suggested and replaced my trophy heads with something that might appeal to home buyer who liked pets."

"It's a new decorating magazine called 'In Your Dreams'...homes completely out of our price range filled with stuff we couldn't possibly afford!"

Birdwatchers looking at a birdhouse filled with houseplants.

"Hasn't rearranging the furniture made the room seem larger?"

"Lovely new carpet Doris - and with scotch-guard too."

'Ooh, a stairs! In case you ever want to walk upstairs. Such over indulgence and decadence! It's exquisite.'

'I know you're proud of your success but couldn't you have invested in something more attractive?'

"They're frantically cleaning the house! Methinks Grandma is coming this weekend..."

"Dang. Empty. What about the painting? Wouldn't it look great in our den?"

Pig Reading Sty Magazine.