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Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

The Kitchen area of a Whitechapel Boarding House

"The knights of the round accent table"

Cat statues on entrance gate

Leaning Wine Bottle of Pisa

A corner market is taken over by suburban sprawl.

I love the Shard

"Suddenly, you’re a fan of New England stone work?"

The High Line at Giza

Courtyard of the Hotel de France, Montreuil.

'Greenwich in the Season'

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

Dracula vacationing in Venice feeding bats in the Piazza of St. Mark.

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

"It was your idea to install the TV dish on the church spire"

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

'Welcome to the house warming! The map points out what is furniture and what is sculpture.'

"Do you smell something?"

Your Home Remodel Team

Posh Easter Egg

'I think that our next door neighbor might have lived here.'

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

"Hedge-fund managers have to have something over their sofas, too."

'Ooh, hey...real hardwood floors!'

"We want it to look lived in, but not necessarily by us."

"That Feng Shui class I took is paying off!"

"Hey, take me home with you! Position me at a slight angle next to the elegant glass soap dispenser in the guest bathroom. It'll look great, you'll see!"