Pinot Perfectionist Gifts

Welcome to my cellar!

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

Bullseye!

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

'I think he's doing ok, the coach says he has the attention span of a goldfish.'

We're going on a first date. So many words are misused every day. Literally! I don't accept the use of imperfect language. Me either. Trying to fight it has no effect. It's all a mute point. Irregardless, I could care less. I had nothing farther to say.

Surreal ale

'They say you have to drink 4 times as much merlot as pinot noir to get the same level of anti-oxidants. Isn't that just too, too bad?'

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

Husband bakes a pie

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

'I'm sorry but my little boy, Jack, ruined them all today.'

'Quick, press control Z!'

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

"....and some apple pie for dessert...oh miss, remember that a la mode!"

'Linda thought her apple pie would be safe...'

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

'In an inexplicable attack of nerves, Elliot becomes the first person ever to screw up John Cage's 4'33'.

'Oh, sure, it gets the creative juices going, but is it worth the cost?'

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

Dispose of unproductive fruit trees.

"Being happy with one's work is the kiss of death."

Santa's Out Tray.

'this is the only place where no one is fooling around with the genes.'

Sleeping on the Job

"It's called being preemptive."

'Here ya' go, sweetie. Our Key Lime Pie.'

Christmas Present Wrapping Service.

Cuts, Measurements, Certain, Sloppy

Quality Contorl.