Pinot Noir Patron T-Shirts

'They say you have to drink 4 times as much merlot as pinot noir to get the same level of anti-oxidants. Isn't that just too, too bad?'

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

'So, what do you think of my first attempt at making homemade beer?'

'And if you can't find the microbrew you're looking for here, you might want to try our other store: Microbrews C to E.'

A woman with a novel and poetry handbag.

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

"Biff's old money, Angelo is new money and Boris is funny money."

'It's my favorite.'

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

Wildcats Strike.

'I can't sleep for thinking about global warming.'

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

"Cultural economy - keep it going."

Tilted painting

"Yes, but is it art?"

Tonight, on the microwave channel... chicken pot pie!

"Take us to Lady Gaga."

'Crumbs! I'm holding out for the whole loaf.'

'I'm sorry, ladies and gentlemen, but in order for Act 3 to go on we'll need an additional $17,000!'

'This one is from my pre-arts grant period'

"Just iced tea, please. Hot coffee goes right through me."

John Ruskin

Welcome to my cellar!

'I said I wanted a cake with a naked bird coming out of it.'

"Edgar, don't you think it's time you donated a wing somewhere?"

'Scottish Arts Council? I'm looking for sponsorship to help me sit through a performance of Gotterdammerung.'

Homeless Man: 'So...your Park bench or mine?'

Lucia is further maddened by the early departure of a subscriber in a sports jacket.

"And a bag of peanuts."

'Every crowd has a silver lining!'

"I think my harem is seeing someone else."

"I feel I have perspective but mostly because I'm tall."

Postal service cuts.

"I'll have the good cocktail." "I'll have the bad cocktail."