Pink Squirrel Aficionado T-Shirts

'In my experience, two types of men order pink squirrels. First, there's the guy who's secure enough about his masculinity that he doesn't care what people think. And then there's the guy like you...'

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

Squirrel Chasing a Dog

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

Poor guy fell asleep with his head in the sap.

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

'Look at that! Peanuts!'

"Have you guys seen my recent collab with the universe?"

'It's normal, don't worry, people on the street just love patting puppies...'

It's estimated that millions of trees are planted by forgetful squirrels.

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

'Yeah, I agree: It's hard to impress females by looking virile and strong when you're all pink...'

"I love this time of day."

"Nuts to you, too."

"I've got you in my sights now, Mister Squirrel, with your fluffy tail and those tiny hands clutching that itty-bitty nut. Aww, you must be hungry...poor little fella... I love you, Mister Squirrel."

"Say, when did you get so fluff?"

"The library rejected your request to ban all books on cats and squirrels. But, to be fair, it was no dumber than all the other book ban requests we get."

Next year, we are NOT going to Costco.

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

"Nice try, but I know a squirrel in a bird suit when I see one."

Come on Darling: Surely, you don't need a sledgehammer to crack a nut...

"Yes, that's the tree with all the squirrels from yesterday. And no, I don't know where they are today."

Squirrel on the beach

No, I don

"Man! That squirrel was jacked!"

"This'll be a cut and dried, no-drama procedure. Unless any squirrels show up, in which case all hell's gonna break loose."

Baby squirrel & Berries

"Blast, you've cleaned me out again!" Grey squirrels out competing red squirrel for food.

You are what you eat!

'Of course I'm squirreling away money!'

Life's a Bench.