Pin Toppler Gifts

Hooked on spares....

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

"I'm trying to write a drinking song, but I can't get past the first couple of bars."

'How am I going to get all this back in the tube?'

"I've entered your PIN for you. "

Bowling ball van driving into bowling pin factory.

Bowling ball head.

'We have developed an APP we use to import ingredients from the Internet, merge them in the computer, and then download them into the distiller and then just bottle the output.'

"Yes we have dollar drafts, no you can't use your own glass."

'You're a nihilist, eh? — well, at least you have something to believe in.'

'One second - wo seconds - three seconds - four seconds -one hour...'

"Try not to loft the ball so much.'

"This wasn't me, it was the bottle talking."

One shandy and two glasses of tap water please.

'This $10,000 bottle of Bordeaux is also a powerful solvent. It entirely dissolved my savings account.'

'This one's called 'Towel stealer'. It's a guest beer.'

Visitor to a Landmark Tavern

'Would you like to start with a drink, a menu, or my gratuity.'

'So, does your wrist-wearable wine analyzer have anything so say about that Burgundy, like how to get it out of silk?'

'Thinker's drinker.'

"Say, do you have the correct moon-phase?"

5-6 pm: Unhappy hour - mourn the loss of jobs to apps, bots, drones.

'There's a machine now that tells you when to stop drinking. It's called a cash point machine.'

"I prefer the cheap stuff."

'Switch me to the cheap stuff when I start talking with my W. C. Fields voice.'

'It's sad to see a good dog go bad.'

"Maybe you should just slow your roll."

Bowling.

"You know this is to solve your problems."

Traditional ale,Traditional Drunk

'What? You mean I ran all the way here and got all that exercise for nothing?'

"I apply for a grant and all they give me is a big ball and a small ball. Here's what I think of them."

"I sure will be glad when all police departments have been disbanded or defunded. . . all the confederate statues are gone. . . then we all will get along."

"Am I the only guy at the table who goes back to when this stuff was two hundred and fifty dollars a bottle?"

Eight Attempts at remembering PIN or less.