Pillow Philosopher Gifts

It's always the same dream. I'm in therapy, analyzing my recurring dream.

Pachyderm insomnia.

'If you can't sleep...imagine you're at work.'

'I can't sleep, knowing that the increased cost of doing business is being passed on to me!'

'I dreamed I was eating marshmallows, and when I woke up, I couldn't remember the punch line.'

'And if anything further develops, I'll be sure to let you in on it.'

"I think I need an extra pillow."

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

"I love it when we clear up issues between us."

'I think he thinks I'm a pillow.'

"Are you crazy? I can’t tell her that!"

Pillows in love.

"My pillow mania got out of control so I'm limiting myself to just one at a time."

Mountain Climber With Pillow Padding.

"All your throw pillows were in knots."

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

"I don't care if you are on full alert, take that silly hat off before you tear the pillows to shreds!"

'Miss Jones, take this down.'

"Now can I be in one of your comics?"

"Honey, wake up. I had that dream again where I wake up and you get angry at me for waking you up."

"He's got SUCH greasy hair, and dandruff like you wouldn't believe!"

"There really is such a thing as having too many pillows."

"But in the dream, ha ha, your family was normal, even that sociopath little brother of yours."

"Now give me something intimate to say."

"Was it as good for you as it was for me?"

Imaginary boyfriends are best.

'You're either getting smaller or they're giving you bigger pillows.'

'Tommy falls asleep in class.'

Are you kiddin'? Those babies are all made right here on the premises.

"Where do you to go?"

'The girls in the office said you were very energetic in bed - the lying bastards!'

He liked his communication soft and cuddly.

'And the kids will go on treating the place like an hotel if you keep leaving them chocolate mints on their pillows.'

"One night in a moment of rage. . . I removed a 'Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law' tag from a pillow!"

'OVERSLEPT? All four thousand of them???'