Pillow Conversationalist Pillows

"I dreamed my parents were still alive."

"I love it when we clear up issues between us."

"There's a conversation to be had around a piece of work I'd like us to do tonight."

"Are you crazy? I can’t tell her that!"

Pachyderm insomnia.

"What do you mean it could've been better?"

"My pillow mania got out of control so I'm limiting myself to just one at a time."

Mountain Climber With Pillow Padding.

"All your throw pillows were in knots."

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

"Honey, wake up. I had that dream again where I wake up and you get angry at me for waking you up."

"Now can I be in one of your comics?"

"He's got SUCH greasy hair, and dandruff like you wouldn't believe!"

'Miss Jones, take this down.'

'If you can't sleep...imagine you're at work.'

"Was it as good for you as it was for me?"

Imaginary boyfriends are best.

"But in the dream, ha ha, your family was normal, even that sociopath little brother of yours."

'You're either getting smaller or they're giving you bigger pillows.'

"Now give me something intimate to say."

It's always the same dream. I'm in therapy, analyzing my recurring dream.

'Tommy falls asleep in class.'

Are you kiddin'? Those babies are all made right here on the premises.

"Where do you to go?"

He liked his communication soft and cuddly.

'Yes, it's very nice. But, that isn't what I meant when I asked you to be more creative, in bed.'

"One night in a moment of rage. . . I removed a 'Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law' tag from a pillow!"

'The girls in the office said you were very energetic in bed - the lying bastards!'

'OVERSLEPT? All four thousand of them???'

"You know your dog better than I do."

'The keepers will be in soon - we better get back to the straw and bamboo.'

"Who's God?"

Sex Score

"I know you love me, I just wish you would take longer showing it."