Pill Skeptic Pillows

No way am I taking a spinach and broccoli pill.

"Let me assure you that my congressional delegation and I are devoting our full attention to the harmful effects of e-cigarettes. . ."

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

Need a vitaminlike pill, but don't want to risk the side effects? Then try the world's first multivitamin placebo! They don't do any good, but they don't do any harm either.

"Didn't I warn you about buying medication from the internet?!"

Man sees hug capsules: 'Not to be taken Orally.'

'Too much Omega 3.'

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

"Republicans, Democrats...as long as they keep getting sick, we'll be all right."

Man in radiation suit with 'Fresh Farm Produce'.

"We've managed to cut down the 16 pills you're taking to just one!"

We at pharmacorp are 100% behind the benefits of spiritual and artistic therapies which is why we've developed 'megazymol' to enhance the experience!

"Sometimes I wonder about what our patients have to take."

"You know it's the American drug companies that give you the headache that is cured by the pills they sell you."

Calm down...this is for your own good.

"I'm putting you on a stronger placebo."

'First of all, I'm taking you off the iron supplements.'

'You forgot you list of possible side-effects.'

"It's supposed to be some kind of aphrodisiac, but it hasn't done jack for me."

"Do a double-blind test. Give the new drug to rich patients and a placebo to the poor. No sense getting their hopes up. They couldn't afford it even if it works."

'Let me know if these weight-loss pills actually work.'

'As I said, the medication won't cure you, but it will make you more comfortable for the duration.'

'He steals from the drug companies and gives to the elderly!'

"Yes, healthcare costs too much in the U.S., but overmedicating patients is expensive."

"Try to find something that works like aspirin but costs much more."

"Publicly, we're still saying there are no side effects."

'You're taking too much of that clamshell calcium, Margaret.'

"It's extremely rare for anyone to suffer side effects from health supplements Mr Baxter. Just how much cod liver oil have you been taking?"

'Any side effects of these sleeping pills?'

Super and Super Duper Vitamins.

'They don't have any side effects, nor any other effect whatsoever!'

"Generics of generics -- that's the way we'll go."

'I'm prescribing anti-greed pills.'

"You know that drug commercial where everyone is laughing and running around with friends and dogs enjoying the beautiful day? What are they on?"

Smart drugs. 'Gee, duh, I don't know. Does it look like we have any in stock?'