Pill Popper Punster Gifts

'Are you sure it's non-drowsy? I cannot afford to oversleep...'

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

Dogs life

'Time for your pills.'

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

'Take one of these diet pills every time you regain consciousness.'

Traditional vs alternative medicine.

'I'll see your diuretic and raise you three anti-depressants.'

"Let's not try to make this symbolic. Of anything."

Note Book

"We'll just have the loaves and fishes. . ."

Medication for the elderly

"They've swapped the pub for staying in and taking their meds."

'It's an emergency, Doctor. The vitamin company needs an endorsement.'

'We are gathered here...'

"Sometimes I wonder about what our patients have to take."

Amnesia Clinic: "Take one of these pills whenever you remember to."

"I want to be upfront. At this point, I'm only looking for a casual hookup of Frankenstein."

'You must take these pills for the rest of your life.' - 'But there're only 25 in here.'

"I'm not that kind of pro-Bono lawyer."

"Oh darn, there it is right there: side effects may include squid head."

Rip Van Winkle told by pharmacist that his sleeping pill prescription has expired.

'This is what I mean about inadequate interagency cooperation.'

"It's obvious Jesus accepts everyone. His disciples were fishermen, and we know what kind of lies we tell."

"I realize your prescription bottle says 'Keep Tightly Closed', but you still need to take the medication!"

"Ah, but that wasn't a campaign promise - It was a NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION!"

"Our flag means debt."

"These have severe side effects but they may not have enough time to bother you."

"That's just the meds kicking in."