Pigskin Poet Pillows

'He destroyed his inner balance! ... Get the yoga coach!'

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

'The Wilsons picked up a quarterback in the off-season. The Riveras picked up a quarterback. The Ludwigs picked up a quaterback...'

"Football is too dangerous, Junior. Why not follow my footsteps in a safe sport - chasing investment yield?"

'Hello, Ebeneezer! It's me - the ghost of coming dinner!'

Football.

'To woof or not to woof...'

Rebel without a cause. Poet without a war.

"Upon further review, the receiver did not establish a meaningful and personal relationship with the football, therefore it is ruled an incomplete pass."

Vikings to the Super bowl.

'My turn! Kick me next!!'

Stop the big guy!

Cultivating Toughness in Footballs.

K9 Litterati.

"Today no one, and I mean no one, could get the sneakers out of my mouth..."

'As you can see - it doesn't pay to badmouth the quarterback.'

'Uh-oh ... Manning got hit hard, and he's not getting up.'

Grab your helmet, Jenkins – Coach just called the trick play.

"I'll throw around the 'old pigskin' as long as the pig isn't still in it."

'Don't ask me what play to call..I've only got a one year contract...you've got a four year scholarship...you decide what play to call.'

"... and if you guys don't shape up, I'm going to have to start kicking some butt around here."

Hockey Goal

"O.K., let's see what all the fuss is about."

Pet Cemetery.

'Your grandfather is a cautionary tale, son. He quit school early and pinned all his hopes on an NFL career. But in the end, he was never used in a single game.'

"Accidentally flying onstage does not count as 'doing Shakespeare in the Park.' "

NFL Antitrust case...

"Yes, their lives changed when they won the lottery and bought a mansion, but not mine: I'm still not allowed in the house..."

Midnight in Minnesota

A dog sits at her typwriter

"Why is this quarterback still playing?"

"Another meeting?"

'Am I crazy...or does this thing smell just like uncle Earl?'

"Holding superstar quarterback accountable—token penalty after the kickoff."

BOWZ, poetry reading...'Neither good doggie, nor bad dog be...'