Pig Humorist Gifts

Amnesty for illegal Immegrants - When Pigs Fly.

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

Dog Hunting Trophies.

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"He's no hat and all corgis."

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

'Jurassic Pork.'

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

'You've made a powerful enemy'

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

"Yes, one is a dog."

Hats and Food

"Scuba cow"

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

Fish with a human in a bowl.

Dogs life

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

Cats at private view

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"