Pig Humorist Gifts

Amnesty for illegal Immegrants - When Pigs Fly.

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

Dog Hunting Trophies.

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"He's no hat and all corgis."

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

"Yes, one is a dog."

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

"Scuba cow"

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

'You've made a powerful enemy'

'Jurassic Pork.'

Hats and Food

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

Fish with a human in a bowl.

'I'd like to return this, please.'

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

Cats at private view

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

Dogs life

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."