Pier Philosopher Gifts

'Not here, you'll scare the fish.'

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

"Ooooh, I bet that feels nice."

Lemniskate

'I know I'm still in the Juniors, but I already need a therapist.'

"Was that my pager or yours?"

'My imaginary playmate squealed on me!'

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

'How's the water, dear?'

'Oh, I'm okay, I guess - I just thought enlightenment would be more FUN than this.'

Doubt or Certainy

"Don't worry, Jules. It'll come up on your side of the house in just 12 hours."

'Perhaps we should leave details of the divorce settlement until after we are married.'

UFO = Unidentified frying object.

"Alarmingly, after five minutes the pool had come no closer."

"She thought he was a good listener. Turns out he was a decoy."

Mozart on a lilo

'My finger's stopped bleeding. I must have run out of blood.'

'Wow, swimming IS great exercise! The bathroom scale I put down here shows I'm 20 pounds lighter!'

My definition of 'quality time?'...charging $500 per hour.

"You're overthinking this."

How swimmers look and feel after a long swim.

Artist Misses the Point

'Despite anosmia she fonded her penuche.'

I am so late for a hair appointment

As the years passed, Grandpa became more absent minded...

No Action Comics

'I'd like to participate in gym class, but I'm afraid I'll get overheated and contribute to the global warming problem.'

'I don't feel at home on the range any more!'

"In the Wild Wild West, we say, if it isn't yours, DON'T TAKE IT..."

'We seem to be at that point where science leaves off and theology begins.'

"9-1-1, I'd like to report a great idea for a podcast."

"Dude, you gotta get out here and clean this pool more often."