Pier Philosopher Gifts

'Not here, you'll scare the fish.'

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

"Ooooh, I bet that feels nice."

Lemniskate

'I know I'm still in the Juniors, but I already need a therapist.'

"Was that my pager or yours?"

'My imaginary playmate squealed on me!'

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

'How's the water, dear?'

'When Einstein wrote about time and relativity he must have been watching a football game where the last 30 seconds took two hours.'

'Oh, I'm okay, I guess - I just thought enlightenment would be more FUN than this.'

Doubt or Certainy

UFO = Unidentified frying object.

'Perhaps we should leave details of the divorce settlement until after we are married.'

"Alarmingly, after five minutes the pool had come no closer."

"Don't worry, Jules. It'll come up on your side of the house in just 12 hours."

"She thought he was a good listener. Turns out he was a decoy."

Mozart on a lilo

'My finger's stopped bleeding. I must have run out of blood.'

'Wow, swimming IS great exercise! The bathroom scale I put down here shows I'm 20 pounds lighter!'

My definition of 'quality time?'...charging $500 per hour.

"You're overthinking this."

How swimmers look and feel after a long swim.

I am so late for a hair appointment

Artist Misses the Point

Lemmings on Vacation

As the years passed, Grandpa became more absent minded...

'Despite anosmia she fonded her penuche.'

No Action Comics

'I'd like to participate in gym class, but I'm afraid I'll get overheated and contribute to the global warming problem.'

"In the Wild Wild West, we say, if it isn't yours, DON'T TAKE IT..."

'We seem to be at that point where science leaves off and theology begins.'

'I don't feel at home on the range any more!'

"9-1-1, I'd like to report a great idea for a podcast."

The World Ends Today!: 'Never mind, dear- better luck tomorrow!'