Pie Punster Gifts

Lemming meringue pie.

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

Dogs life

"We'll just have the loaves and fishes. . ."

How was I supposed to know she was under age?

"I do lover a good prawn film!"

'Sticky nuts...' "Umm nice nuts but not as sticky as us buns!!"

A-Hem! I'm still singing here!

"Hallelujah!"

"I call it decking - it will be all the rage in a few years."

"I'm afraid there will be more cuts."

"Sorry about that. Just following the serving suggestion."

'Gone out, Your dinners in your face'

"Hmmmm. I'll bluff. Then they'll counter-bluff, so if I counter-counter-bluff...password should do it."

"It's obvious Jesus accepts everyone. His disciples were fishermen, and we know what kind of lies we tell."

'Well, I just met the girl of my dreams -- you know, the kind you have when you eat anchovy pizza right before bed.'

"After the aversion therapy, please feel free to take home any pie remnants."

'Yeah, these work great...give me five dozen!'

'I'll have the custard pie please.'

Baby Grand Larceny

Pork Sausage.

Wordplay: Road Rage

'He was using eggplant - another tragic case of apple pie fraud.'

'I'm not the first visionary who's been accused of extreme optimism.'

"It's ok - you're not the first man to lose his head over a pretty girl. . ."

"I just had a horrible dream - I was wallowing in apple sauce."

fried eggs...

'Happy Valentine's Day!'

BEWARE! Clown sees several pies to beware of.

'Be cool, Bob. Don't go charging blindly into the stands. . . Any one of thousands of spectators could have tossed that cream pie.'

'Nobody's ordering it. With all due respect, sir-I suggest we give it an easier-to-pronounce name.'

Teacher to students: 'A penny for your thoughts, but only if you're here on scholarship.'

Few people know the tale of Lindarella, the sister who didn't get home by midnight.

A beginner's guide to being a sociopath

'It's a cover for the latrine, but yeah, it could be used for transportation...'