Picture Book Fans Gifts

"Reading YA is passe. We're into picture books."

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

"Can you make me look like Wolverine?"

Pastries and Candy

"I'm in children's books, myself."

So You've Cloned Yourself

I think you meant to huff 'n' puff at the next house over.

Why Superman flies himself

Gulliver's other travels.

"First I alienated the apes who'd raised me. Then there was a lot of turmoil with the colonials pulling out. Now Jane and me are semi-retired and I haven't swing through the trees in ages. Want a drink?"

The Month of August

Children's Book Publisher. It should be good for lots or repeat sales

"Ummm, hold up a second, old chum . . ."

RETURN BOOKS HERE, 'I'm sorry, sir -- all our books on Houdini have disappeared.'

'Daddy says, 'Better drowned than duffers if not duffers won't drown'. Well, let's just hope social services don't hear about this.'

"Before I begin, I should issue a Tigger warning."

'He doesn't want to play doctors and nurses anymore - He just wants to play Harry Potter!'

Golfing with Obi-Wan Kenobi. May the fours be with you! Especially of the par fives.

"You know, it's a picture book. Needless to say, it doesn't have a lot of narrative scope."

"You've had dogs, cats, birds and even a pony. . . how come your only pets that survive are fish, Arielle?"

"No - wait, I haven't read them all yet..."

'I stole it from the library.'

A conductor reads from a picture book.

'Actually, they like to read, but so little is translated into dog.'

"I have to write a book report for school. . . do you have any books with lots of pictures?"

'I'm afraid you're a little late for the book signing, Mr. Dickens.'

'I had to put the peas in my ears... they kept falling out my nose!'

Quentin Blake

Where the wild things summer

I am prepared to unveil by brilliant innovation. Is it an MP3 player? It's a self-help book. A simple way for readers to achieve instant happiness. You? What do you know about happiness? You're miserable and you make other people miserable. Wrong! People will get happy or I'll kick their keisters! Uplifting.

'Ooh, I'm getting a text.'

"It's not a self-improvement book. It's a how-to-tolerate-those-who-won't-improve-themselves book."

Captain Pointy No.61 - My God the fancy dress bomb has worked

"I didn't see you."

Cheshire Flamenco Dancer... Lipsticked grin clutching flower in her teeth.