Phone System Master Gifts

"You had the persistence to figure out our complex phone system just to get an interview. You're hired!"

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

Do you have a phone with recording capabilities? I want to be able to carry a wire when I meet with my boss.

Kid is 'Born to Text'.

National Coffee Day

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

"How 'local' is the fish?"

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

'A willingness to sacrifice yourself to bring 'peace and succor to the suffering' is all very well Mother Theresa but I don't think it makes up for your lack of knowledge of current hand sanitisation protocols.'

"FISH ON"

"I'm trying to decide between water and sunlight."

'I'll have the 'All of the above.''

'Do you have eczema?' 'No, only what's on the menu.'

"You folks ready to order?"

"Everything on the menu can be prepared with no gluten, standard gluten, or extra gluten."

Our specials today include salad and dessert. Tip and service are NOT included.

'Compliment me on my perfect pronunciation of this junk,and there'll be a good tip in it for you.'

"Don't order anything that will embarass me."

Printing Room

'Bird menu.'

Girls night!

'If you now feel like punching someone in the face. . . press five!'

Call before you dig!

You are on hold. Press One for Vivaldi...

'SPRING water-in the middle of summer???'

Aliens man telephone store named ET&T Phones.

"I really shouldn't have any dessert. My trainer told me never to eat out of boredom."

Wanna hang later? Yep. You meatheads are standing side-by-side texting! Why not just talk to each other?! Because: Your eyeballs are burned away from staring at your screens and you can't see actual reality!!!! I hear strange rhetorical noises. Put on your iPod LOUD and they'll go away.

"Line one is on line two..."

"Ah - Sir has fancied something from the menu."

"I have a food question."

'These are some great solutions we've come up with, Ed. See if we have any problems they'll solve.'

'I'm lactose intolerant, gluten intolerant, vegan and allergic to tomatoes...what have you got that's good?'