Phone Sex Operator Pillows

'You've made me all hot, but I still don't feel very horny.'

"I see the downsizing continues."

'Don't ask questions, Ralph, just tell me who you'd rather look like - Sean Connery or Robert Redford.'

"Oh...Hi Bob, listen buddy, I'm in a meeting right now, I'll Caw you back."

"I prefer 'prostitute'. 'Media whore' implies that I'm not getting paid."

"I'll check and see if he's available."

Good stripper cop / Bad stripper cop

"Please stay on the line – your caul is important to us."

Welcome to Yellow Pages, Vermont

"And His Majesty sends you a great big kiss, too."

Thermidor Dali

"I'm away from my desk or on another line. Please leave a message at the sound of my impersonation of a beep."

"I'm upstairs right now. On weekends and holidays, I go downstairs."

"This is a computer speaking. I will now misconnect you and your party."

'Don't call us, we'll call you, inc,'

"Your call is important to us. Your estimated wait time is less than five hours."

'Your call is very important to us, so please continue to hold.'

This is a voice recognition service...we reserve the right to cut you off if you have an irritating nasal sort of voice.

Call Center.

'Jenny can't come to the phone, she's naked. Only joking, mate. Wrong number.'

"If you're annoyed by answering machines, press 1. . ."

"That's not all I do. Actually I'm a psychological counselor- gymnast-motivational speaker-relaxation therapist-sex worker."

I'm keeping my phone on...we'll need a wake up call after this guy speaks!

'Never mind what I'm wearing!'

"If you know what you want, please say so now, otherwise listen carefully, because the menu option have changed."

"What do you mean: 'You don't believe that this is my answerphone'? Do you think I'd lie?"

"Operator, I'd like to make a person-to-person call, and I'd like to reverse the roles."

'Oh, so you want to get nasty? Well, two can play that game! Remember when I told you to have a nice day? I RETRACT IT! Oh, yes I can! I just DID!'

'No, sorry. You've reached Dragons. Payroll is on extension 4702. Shall I put you through?'

'Callers will be answered in the order of their Fortune 500 ranking.'

RSI

'He's in a meeting. Would you like to speak to his assistant?'

"Thanks for calling the celebration help desk. For assistance with high fives, press one now. For fist bumps, press two, for chest bumps, press three..."