Phone Phobia Conqueror Pillows

Weird. It keeps going straight to my own voicemail. Self-Help Line.

Yeah, it's funny, but you'll see, in this house, it's the guy who screams the loudest...

"You know, there are other emojis."

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

Telephone message - 'This is a recording. If you'd like to speak to a real live human being, forgetaboutit.

'Okay, I'm going to make the phone ring just once, and I want you to refrain from picking up. Bite the towel if you have to.

Modern Narcissism

'... and finally, before tip-off, let's all be courteous and turn off our cell phones.'

Unwelcome guests can be caught and thrown out...there is no need to kill them.

Pizza Delivery Delays

"Can we wrap this up? Our phones need charging."

"Doctor, your client with the multiple personality disorder, is on lines one, two, three and four."

'Would you stop with the Twitter alerts already? I'm standing right behind you.'

'Dr. Wit specializes in treating patients with a fear of low places.'

Automated customer service.

"Knowing two languages is sure handy when telemarketers call."

"OMG! The PDA was 2 much. I was lol. . . Oh, sorry Daddy, I'm just so use to texting!"

"The doctor said I've got 'texter's slump'."

"You know, there are also some people who should never have children, hint hint...."

'One nice thing about this, it has overcome my fear of height.'

'I knew I should have bought more insurance.'

'You get to see the countryside, meet interesting characters and relax traveling this way. Besides, I'm scared of flying.'

"Can I call you back? I'm right in the middle of something."

Evolution

'Your, 'Never can come out in public' session is over. After I leave the room, you come out and slink away!'

'Sorry, I can't talk now, Mr. Harris, I'm texting right now! I'll take whatever punishment you want to give me.'

Gimme a latte, geek. In a sec. I'm watching the end of a tv show on my new cellphone. Look out, Jack! Didn't you just buy a 50-inch plasma?! Is that a man or a tree?

"This ‘no BlackBerrys in the conference room’ rule is killing me."

'Your texting addiction sticks out like a sore thumb.'

Houdini 2019

"I can't be sure, but I think Dracula is the bat holding the phone."

I told you not to text and spin, Simone.

He donated his body to social science.

The Perils Of Texting While Conducting.