Phone Chat Philosopher Pillows

"Hi, I'm plagued by low-self esteem right now, can I get back to you?

'There's no art to the mind's construction on Facebook, Macbeth.'

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

Woman on the phone.

"The fourth horseman says that he will be late. He hasn't left the Old Testament yet."

"I'll have to put you on hold. I have a bite on the other line."

'Thanks mum, it's just what I always wanted!'

'Hello, Pastor Parker here. Thank you for calling moral support. Your call may be monitored to ... '

"Is this as good a bad time as any other bad time you've experienced?"

"I'm upstairs right now. On weekends and holidays, I go downstairs."

Phone solicitors like customers who are afraid to hang up.

"At last! - A text from Godot!!"

A Tree Grows In . . . Wherever.

'So much effort to meet me? Man, you just should have visited my website!'

"The time has come to reflect and ask ourselves... 'what would Jesus tweet?'"

Gawk

'You have reached the Heisenberg Institute - Calls will be answered in random order.'

"Are you busy or are you at work?"

Hot Line

'From the Mouth of Arthur Baskin.'

'Are you in here tonight?'

'Can't you tell people about our new swimming pool without saying I've 'gone off the deep end?''

"I was like 'OMG,' and she was all 'No way', and I was like 'Yes, way', and she was...uh-oh, gotta run."

'I heard it was because of a broken charger.'

"I'd love to talk. I'm on a train!"

"You have reached the samaritans. If you are a farmer press one, a pensioner press two, small business owner press three...."

"Read the comments, boss. . . we should rename the whole thing from 'social media' to 'antisocial media'."

Well look, I'm afraid I really must run...

Reception - "Do you want to continue to 'hold' or do you want to call back later and 'hold'?"

"No problem, B. J. I can talk and baste at the same time."

'And I don't appreciate being left on hold,with Motorhead's 'The ace of spades'!'

'I can't believe I phoned my ex at 4 in the morning and go the wrong number. Still, if I look on the upside...it's lucky I didn't get the right number.'

"You're addicted to your phone and I think you need help."

New Space Shuttle Mission: Deployment of the First Orbiting Telemarketer

"Fruit salad? Count me in!"