Phone Call Philosopher Pillows

A Tree Grows In . . . Wherever.

Reception - "Do you want to continue to 'hold' or do you want to call back later and 'hold'?"

'This call may be monitored for training purposes, and you'll understand why when the tech can't answer your questions.'

Press "one." One what?

Gloria just called me an animal. Are you going to take that kind of an insult? ?

Chat Lines - "If you would like to talk to a machine that sounds like a woman press 1. If you would like.."

'Can I call you back, Sue? There seems to be something wrong with my caption.' (man at office desk)

'Hello, Learn Direct, how can I help? Hello, Learn Direct...'

'Hi, Mr. Back... you asked me to call you...'

'This call may be ignored for sanity assurance.'

'... Press 7 to admit defeat...'

'I guess I'll let you go...' 'Don't you mean you're done talking and you'll hang up on me if I don't go?' 'Well, yeah.'

'OK, I'll admit I have no people if you'll admit you have no people.'

"I'll have to put you on hold. I have a bite on the other line."

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

"This call "may" be monitored for training purposes. But it sure as heck will be monitored for surveillance purposes."

Woman on the phone.

"The fourth horseman says that he will be late. He hasn't left the Old Testament yet."

'Forget it. Bioethics doesn't apply to us.'

"She's really nice and I didn't want to hurt her feelings, so here we are."

"Is this as good a bad time as any other bad time you've experienced?"

'Hello, Pastor Parker here. Thank you for calling moral support. Your call may be monitored to ... '

"At last! - A text from Godot!!"

"The time has come to reflect and ask ourselves... 'what would Jesus tweet?'"

"Hey - let's not us re-invent wheel."

'You have reached the Heisenberg Institute - Calls will be answered in random order.'

"Are you busy or are you at work?"

Gawk

"You have reached the samaritans. If you are a farmer press one, a pensioner press two, small business owner press three...."

'I heard it was because of a broken charger.'

'And I don't appreciate being left on hold,with Motorhead's 'The ace of spades'!'

'I can't believe I phoned my ex at 4 in the morning and go the wrong number. Still, if I look on the upside...it's lucky I didn't get the right number.'

"You're addicted to your phone and I think you need help."

"Operator, get me my hair!"

"Sure, he's ascended to a god-like state. But from what I hear, he's still on his family's cell phone plan."