Phone Caller Extraordinaire Pillows

'Thank you for phoning our vineyard. . .'

'Call for you on the cream corn line.'

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

'The King of what?'

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

'Telephone call for Mr. Right!'

Mobile phones and long distance relationships,

'It's the bank again... What I'd give for a bit of good old-fashioned heavy breathing!'

"Eric, this is your father, mister Trump." "You must have the wrong number. I'm Mortimer Park."

"The guy's a natural!"

Cold caller.

"Hi...I was just phoning to see if you got my e-mail?"

...the onion rings

Call centre musicians

'I'll be late for dinner - a shelf fell on me.'

"How nice of you to call me out of the blue, young man. It so happens I have forty-five million just sitting in my piggy bank, and maybe having a broker wouldn't be such a bad idea."

"If you're annoyed by answering machines, press 1. . ."

"I'm on the haywain."

Incontinence Hot Line - 'Please hold.'

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

'I have to hang up now. I'm getting some static on another line.'

"No, you hang up first. No, you!"

"Yes, I'm still on hold and counting the billable minutes."

"Hello, Braque? Picasso here. Cubism is out."

Robinson Crusoe on the phone - "Big job. No problem, it'll be done by Friday."

'Sorry, I missed your call. . . I'm either goofing off at the fax machine or telling someone what I did over that weekend...'

Listenin' in

Collar I.D.

Business executive has desk sign stating: I am in a meeting.

"Thank you for holding, your prayers have advanced in the queue and will be answered by the next available deity."

"I've been talking on this phone so much, I'm getting cauliflower ears."

Phone Calls As a Child and As an Adult

Woman on the phone while her kids cause chaos in the background.

"He wants to know if I'm alone."

'So! THis is what you do all day.'