Phone Call Escapist Pillows

'If you wish to be put on hold, press one...'

"Please hold...for music while you wait..."

'I can't talk any more, Dear. I've run out of space to doodle.'

"Your call may be monitored to give us all a laugh..."

"Someone wants to talk to you about your jeep's extended warranty."

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

Audio Books

Cyb-R Safe: Offering the most convincing illusion of on-line security available today!

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."

'Where do you expect to see yourself in five lifetimes?'

Now Playing On Your Phone: Other People's Craft Projects....

'Thank you for waiting. Please continue to hold and your call will bee answered as soon as we can.'

"The good news is the frustration of filling out all this paperwork will keep your mind off your pain."

Man opens front door to find he's up in clouds.

Houdini 2019

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

"Mr. Cogdill said he won't be in today because it's 'National I Hate My Job Day'."

"Meet my cats - Step Over Me, Dust Around Me, and Sit Somewhere Else."

'If you keep running away, son, you'll never make it through your formative years.'

Message in a bottle.

Hiding From Social Media

"Goddess of Good give me strength! I must. . . get. . . off. . . the. . . internet!"

"I’ve recently started self-medicating with viral pet videos."

'These blinders help block out banner ads.'

'Tell me if this hurts.'

"For your Birthday gift, I decided to stay off my phone for the entire day. You'll be proud of me, I lasted almost an entire hour!"

"Move over! - I just got the bill!"

"You're a very lucky man, Mr. David. Your insurance covers it."

'A lovely area, but not enough waiters!'

The anti-social network: 'In other words, you want to help the internet blow itself up.'

Liking the Exit.

Virtual Reality Check

"I have no problem with reality. It's just the occasional intrusion of gritty realism that I hate."

I'm earlier than usual this evening due to an elevated level of chatter at home.

Sometimes you wanna go where nobody knows your name