Phone Call Escapist T-Shirts

'If you wish to be put on hold, press one...'

"Please hold...for music while you wait..."

'I can't talk any more, Dear. I've run out of space to doodle.'

"Your call may be monitored to give us all a laugh..."

"Someone wants to talk to you about your jeep's extended warranty."

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

Audio Books

Cyb-R Safe: Offering the most convincing illusion of on-line security available today!

Now Playing On Your Phone: Other People's Craft Projects....

'Where do you expect to see yourself in five lifetimes?'

I'd like to order a power outage. Huh? My wife's on her phone all day, my son plays video games nonstop. My boss finds me by email wherever and whenever. My pager rings 'round the clock! Say again? I was text messaging. Pull the plug, man!

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."

"The good news is the frustration of filling out all this paperwork will keep your mind off your pain."

'Thank you for waiting. Please continue to hold and your call will bee answered as soon as we can.'

Houdini 2019

Man opens front door to find he's up in clouds.

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

"Do you have any video games that would help reduce my role as a father?"

"Anywhere that doesn't have TVs, computers, radios, ipods, cell phones, or video games."

"Meet my cats - Step Over Me, Dust Around Me, and Sit Somewhere Else."

'If you keep running away, son, you'll never make it through your formative years.'

Message in a bottle.

"Mr. Cogdill said he won't be in today because it's 'National I Hate My Job Day'."

"Goddess of Good give me strength! I must. . . get. . . off. . . the. . . internet!"

Hiding From Social Media

"I’ve recently started self-medicating with viral pet videos."

'These blinders help block out banner ads.'

'Tell me if this hurts.'

'A lovely area, but not enough waiters!'

"For your Birthday gift, I decided to stay off my phone for the entire day. You'll be proud of me, I lasted almost an entire hour!"

"I have no problem with reality. It's just the occasional intrusion of gritty realism that I hate."

Liking the Exit.

Virtual Reality Check

www.islandcam.org Just when Doug thought things couldn't get any worse

"You're a very lucky man, Mr. David. Your insurance covers it."