Earphone Escapist T-Shirts

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

Audio Books

Tangled Earphones Support Group.

'What a day! My secretary was out, our biggest customer canceled a large order, the computer broke down, I didn't have any lunch, and leaving work I got stuck for an hour in the elevator with an 18 year old nympho with big breasts!'

'and for pushing your umbrella button in a VERY crowded elevator.'

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."

Man trapped in bubble from bubble bath.

'Ocean sounds won't be heard, so that we may bring you a paid commercial program on offshore investment opportunities.'

Houdini 2019

Man opens front door to find he's up in clouds.

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

'If you wish to be put on hold, press one...'

"Please hold...for music while you wait..."

Hiding From Social Media

"Someone wants to talk to you about your jeep's extended warranty."

"Meet my cats - Step Over Me, Dust Around Me, and Sit Somewhere Else."

'If you keep running away, son, you'll never make it through your formative years.'

Message in a bottle.

'Tell me if this hurts.'

Sometimes you wanna go where nobody knows your name

Message In Bottle In Bottle

"You know, on second thought maybe I'll take the stairs."

Virtual Reality Check

'I've got to go, Alice, you know how the boss frowns on personal calls.'

'Only six more floors to my cubicle.'

"Yo've got to be more specific, Ed. Wake you when what's over?"

"You're a very lucky man, Mr. David. Your insurance covers it."

"Move over! - I just got the bill!"

"I have no problem with reality. It's just the occasional intrusion of gritty realism that I hate."

"For your Birthday gift, I decided to stay off my phone for the entire day. You'll be proud of me, I lasted almost an entire hour!"

'A lovely area, but not enough waiters!'

'I'm waiting until someone develops a Weapon of Mess Destruction.'