Phone Call Demon Pillows

'There is someone on the phone for you.'

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

'You've got the wrong idiot, number.'

Telephone message - 'This is a recording. If you'd like to speak to a real live human being, forgetaboutit.

'Okay, I'm going to make the phone ring just once, and I want you to refrain from picking up. Bite the towel if you have to.

Modern Narcissism

'... and finally, before tip-off, let's all be courteous and turn off our cell phones.'

"Hi..just ringing to see if you got my e-mail?"

'I'm going to have to transfer you to someone I don't like.'

'Waiter, there's a cell phone in my soup.'

"You're young enough to play tag, but not old enough to borrow my phone to play phone tag."

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

Pizza Delivery Delays

"Can we wrap this up? Our phones need charging."

'Hold on, there might be someone more interesting on the other line...'

"OMG! The PDA was 2 much. I was lol. . . Oh, sorry Daddy, I'm just so use to texting!"

"The doctor said I've got 'texter's slump'."

Call centre musicians

"The secret of time management? Never take anyone off hold."

"Can I call you back? I'm right in the middle of something."

Evolution

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"... Or, if you're tired of listening to all of these automated options and would like to cancel your call, press 9."

'It's for you.'

Houdini 2019

'Sorry, I can't talk now, Mr. Harris, I'm texting right now! I'll take whatever punishment you want to give me.'

Champagne cork stopping sand in hourglass

'I'm sorry but the manager doesn't like me taking calls at work!'

'Are you gonna answer that?'

A frog answers a phone

"Er, no. He's out at the moment."

Throw-Your-Voice Mail.